Dating For Over 40
'Women over 40 sometimes convince themselves that there are not many good opportunities for a future mate on the dating scene after 40, and therefore settle for the first good candidate who comes along,' Drenner says. 'Too often, they make the 'smart choice,' meaning a good potential partner that cares for them, rather than the. No wonder that an increasing amount of the over 40 dating scene is moving online, with between 4-5% more over 40s taking to dating sites and dating apps for the first time over the past couple of years. It’s becoming such an essential tool for dating in your 40s – allowing compatible single men and women to connect directly – all you have to decide is which site suits you best.
If you’re dating over 40, you come to the dating scene with a lot of experience from your past loves and relationships. Sometimes that experience can work in your favor—you know what you want and are better at identifying when things are and aren’t working. Other times, however, your experience can work against you. Here are 5 things many people dating over 40 may be doing wrong.
1. Talking too much about your ex/exes
Let’s face it, if you’re over 40 and single, chances are you’ve already been in several relationships, if not a marriage or two. One of the first questions that usually gets asked after you meet someone is, “So, why are you still single?”
So, of course, you start talking about your ex or exes and how they were horrible, or how they cheated on you, which conjures up any number of bad memories, and suddenly you realize that you’ve spent your first date looking back instead of forward. You chatted aimlessly about the people you’re no longer with instead of trying to get to know the person right in front of you.
- If you’re dating over 40, you come to the dating scene with a lot of experience from your past loves and relationships. Sometimes that experience can work in your favor—you know what you want and are better at identifying when things are and aren’t working. Other times, however, your experience can work against you.
- The following online dating sites can help singles in their 40s get into the dating scene. Because Match is more of a serious dating site, it’s a great choice for over-40 singles who want a relationship. In fact, Match has facilitated more relationships than any of its competitors.
It’s normal to be curious about someone’s past, and I’m sure you’ll come across a date who will want to know more about your history. My advice is to spend minimal time talking about past lovers on your first date and spend more time finding out about the person you’re with. Telling someone how badly you were treated in the past might make them think there’s something more to the story you’re telling. For example, if you tell your date that you constantly got into fights with your ex, they might feel that the same thing could happen between the two of you. Or if you were cheated on, it may enter your date’s mind that there’s a reason for the cheating, and suddenly they’ll wonder about your compatibility, your state of mind, and any number of things.
Your past is past. Focus on the present situation and your current date.
2. Making the wrong fashion statement
Ladies: Did we forget what the word “lady” means?! I recently went out with a few friends for a drink. While in the bathroom, I overheard this woman who had to be in her late 40s talking to her friends about how she looks better than most 20-year-olds. I admit she looked good, meaning she was physically fit and had a pretty face, but she was wearing a mini-mini skirt with a cut-off shirt, and her breasts were virtually hanging out. Listen, I get it. You want to look sexy and feel young, but don’t give away the farm! How about just a nice, short skirt and a little cleavage? Let’s leave something to the imagination. Trust me, the guy will be able to see if you have a nice figure or not. Also, when it comes to perfume, why is it the older some women get, the more they put on? Try just spritzing on a nice, clean, mellow scent so the guy doesn’t choke to death. You don’t need to smell like you just bathed in it.
Men: It shouldn’t be that difficult for you to get dressed, but I see bad examples every day. You throw on a shirt with a pair of pants and shoes and you think you’re ready to head out the door. But take a good look at the button-down shirt you’re wearing—is it clean and properly pressed? Why go out in a wrinkled shirt and express your lack of know-how with an iron and board? Also, leave the ripped jeans at home until a second or third date. And I know sneakers are a big deal to a lot of you, but again, wait for a couple of dates before you sport your designer Nikes. Gentlemen, wearing a baseball cap on your first date is a fashion and personal faux pas, unless, of course, you are at a baseball game. If you’re doing this to hide your thinning hair or baldness, why not let your date see the real you from the start? Don’t be embarrassed, be proud of who you are! As with women and their perfume, don’t use the whole bottle of cologne on a first date—in fact, don’t do it ever.
3. Drinking to excess
I know the first date can be a little nerve-wracking, no matter what age. Believe it or not, I hear more stories about people in their 40s drinking a little too much on the first date than any other age bracket. I think it may be due to tension and nervousness, and the fact that maybe you’re just sick and tired of dating. First off, we all have to keep DUIs and safety in mind. Second, you’re old enough to know what happens when you drink a little too much. You may say something, or worse, do something you’ll regret in the morning. All I am saying is, pace yourself and be smart. Save the shots for another time.
4. Too eager or too indifferent
I think one of two things happen to us mentally when we date in our 40s. We either start to feel desperate, or we start developing an, “I’m fine on my own!” attitude. The desperate people who are dating over 40 and want to be married may come on a little too strong, or be so overly willing to please that they scare off their potential mates. Then we have those who think, “If it happens, it happens,” and won’t put honest effort into the date. Their dates are made to feel like these people don’t honestly care for them, and the lack of emotions indicate, if incorrectly, that settling down isn’t in their future. Egos really play a part here, and if there’s too much of it, the date can turn south quickly.
So just try to be the person in the middle. Don’t play the excited puppy dog, but don’t be the disinterested lazy cat lounging on the couch either.
5. Jumping in the sack too soon
I hear from many older women and men, “I’m an adult and I know what I’m doing!” Of course you do. I understand that you’re tired of being alone, and that you can use a good night of ardent, passionate, loving sex. I’m not questioning the fact that you’re an adult—I’m questioning whether you absolutely need to jump in the sack right away.
Sex more often than not means seeing one another naked. That is a huge step for two people who have just met. Real intimacy requires comfort and trust in one another, and it’s really hard to get those things after a two-hour dinner, or drinks at a bar. Try to get to know each other a little better. I think if you have sex too soon, it can interfere with getting to know the real person. Lust has a way of making us forget everything else, and that includes personal feelings.
Try to keep the date PG-rated, okay? Yes, we are all adults, but that also means we should have a level of maturity that allows us to hold out for a while and not succumb to carnal desires just yet.
As we get older, we tend to overthink the dating process since we have a larger frame of reference than a 25-year-old. If we remember to relax and be ourselves while keeping in mind the advice above, I’m sure good things will follow.
To read more of Tonia’s work and learn about her upcoming memoir, visit toniadecosimo.com or follower her on Twitter at @ToniaDeCosimo.
Subscribe to our newsletter
By clicking Submit you agree to Zoosk’s terms of use and privacy policy.
Whether you’ve been married before and seeking a new partner or have never been in a long-term relationship, finding the best dating site for women over 40 can sometimes become a daunting task. Unlike those in their 20s and 30s, it’s not common for everyone over 40 to look for singles on dating sites. So it seems essential to dive into the right dating pool of like-minded people to find senior users at your age.
If the ever-increasing list of senior dating sites on the internet has confused you, the search is over. The following sites will help you find senior singles in your area who are on the same page as yours.
MeetMilfy.com
MeetMilfy is a dating platform for MILFs ready for all kinds of relationships. It’s owned by a team of experts that runs other dating sites as well. Even though the male members outnumber females, there are so many mature women over 40 looking for singles in their area.
Flirtcast is an innovative feature on the Meetmilfy website that provides you with ready-made templates for sending flirty messages to other users. The platform doesn’t have any app yet, but you can use the website on your mobile browser with no problem. The premium memberships start from $28.80 a month and reach up to $79.20 per month for the six-month plans.
Rating: 4.4/5
FlirtyMature.com
FlirtyMature, as the name suggests, is one of the niche senior dating sites for flirty users. Most of the members are senior men, and you can see lesbian and gay people on the platform, too. FlirtyMature supports chat rooms, and you can search for other members on the free plan. The free three-day trial is an excellent feature of this site that lets you put everything to the test before making your final decision.
FlirtyMature is one of the dating sites without any mobile app. The paid packages’ rate starts from $7 a week for the one-week option and reaches up to $48.60 for a three-month plan.
Rating: 4/5
WantMatures.com
WantMatures is one of the top dating sites focusing on senior singles to match and date. More than nine million people use this platform from all over the world, and most of them are from the US. Most users are male members over the age of 35, and many of the users either are parents or divorced. SafeMode is one of the unique features of this website that gives you additional control over your privacy.
Just like the previous websites, WantMatures doesn’t have a mobile app. The premium packages start from $41.40 a month and reach up to $111.60 for the six-month plan.
Rating: 3.9/5
PassionMature.com
PassionMature is in the category of MILF dating sites for seniors over 40. The platform welcomes all sexual orientations, including lesbian and gay. Users can apply multiple practical filters to their searches to find their match faster and create profile videos to separate their profiles from others. By default, user profiles are private on the website for privacy concerns, and you can use the live chat feature to contact members easier.
There’s no mobile app available for the PassionMature platform. The website supports daily memberships that cost you $0.99. Other plans start from $29.98 a month and get as high as $64.90 for the three-month cost.
Rating: 4.2/5
MaturesForFuck.com
MatureForFuck is one of the senior dating sites for MILFs and other users interested in casual dating with mature women. The website welcomes members from all countries with all sexual orientations. Male members outnumber females, and most of the users join this senior community for hookups. LikeGallery is similar to the popular swipe feature on dating apps that either like or skip user profiles.
Although there’s no app for this site, it’s one of the well-coded sites that run in full compatibility on mobile devices. The pages are developed fully responsive and will run flawlessly on all screen sizes. Daily membership is available at $0.99 a day, and you can also go for the weekly, monthly, and three-month plans by paying $10.43, $64.32, and $69.30, respectively.
Rating: 4.1/5
eHarmony.com
eHarmony is a well-known name that’s been active in the online dating industry for decades. It’s one of the sites that focuses on serious relationships for all age brackets, including seniors over 40. A questionnaire for this purpose allows users to know more about the other members’ personality and emotional attributes easily. Most users have university degrees, and they have no time to waste for flings.
eHarmony has a free app for iOS and Android operating systems that supports all the desktop version features. Premium packages are available in six-month, one-year, and two-year options that cost $59.90, $35.90, and $25.90, respectively.
Rating: 4.8/5
Tips to Consider for Dating Singles Over 40
Dating in the 40s can significantly vary from the 20s and even 30s. Things can get trickier if you’re not used to using online dating sites and their interfaces. The point is that the internet has spread into many aspects of our lives, and it’s not strange that everyone’s online most of the time. So you can be sure that everyone on the senior dating sites is looking for a match and have gone to these portals to save time and effort finding singles nearby.
eHarmony is one of the renowned sites for online dating with seniors, and you can complete the simple registration process in less than 10 minutes. Once your account is confirmed, you can add the members you like to your favourites list and initiate contacts by sending them free winks. If you upgrade to a premium membership, you’ll be able to view user photos, send unlimited messages, and browse the user base in anonymous mode.
Are DatingSites for Seniors Above 40 Trustable?
If you ask people around you about their experience with online dating sites for seniors, you might find many satisfied people who suggest others use these platforms. So if you don’t get fooled by the abundance of dating options, the chances are high you find senior singles at your age who are looking for the same goals as yours.
Online dating can become a more accessible and more enjoyable experience if you select a popular platform that focuses on the type of relationship you’re after. For instance, the MaturesForFuck website we mentioned above is the best place for one-night stands. In contrast, eHarmony belongs to the group of sites that best suit those looking for long-term relationships.
So before jumping into these sites and entering your details, including payment information, pick the right choice from our narrowed-down list of senior dating sites for members over 40. These platforms are all safe and reliable and let you shift your focus on your relationship goals rather than worry about the website’s reliability.
How Should You Use the DatingSites for Seniors Over 40?
Speed Dating For Over 40
Firstly, you should make sure that you’re ready to meet singles and start a new relationship. Next, you should pick an option from the dating sites that best match your interests and relationship goals. The dating platforms we introduced in this review are reliable sites for seniors over 40 that can help you with serious and casual relationships.
Don’t forget always to be upfront about what you’re seeking when using dating sites. Have you joined these dating websites for commitments? Or maybe you’ve registered for casual hookups with seniors? Whatever your purpose is, provide some details about yourself on your profile and talk about them with the people you contact to avoid starting a relationship with the wrong person.
Dating For Over 40 Free
Location is another vital tip to consider while browsing on senior dating websites. It’s a big part of how successful your online dating journey can be. People living in bigger cities have more chances of finding a good match than those in smaller towns. Therefore, always keep an eye on the users’ location, too.
Top Online Dating For Over 40
The sites we mentioned here are free to try. Get started with one that suits you today and start browsing for seniors in your area.